Tuesday, April 28, 2009

An Improper Woman


Well, we all knew that!

Come on. I work for a women’s college that should’ve been your first clue. But if not, talk with my parents or grandparents, they will tell you any proper woman would have been married and filling their hearts with fat, happy grandchildren by now. Or ask any of my former boy friends or girl friends. I’m sure they could tell you a tale or two.

Egyptians, however, are just learning what type of improper American woman I am.

As you all know some fabulous friends visited me here in Cairo recently, Mr. Mark and Mrs. Anne Kennedy (See previous post: Nile Jule). Well on the 2nd night of their visit, we were woken by a call at 1:30 am by CEO Junior who is the so-called manager of the “guest house” where I live. I was informed that, “It is against Egypt’s policy and the policy of this house to have male guests stay in the apartment with female residents.”

Um. Excuse me? You are calling me in the middle of the night to tell me what?! As I try to rub the sleep out of my eyes and brain, he informs me that the security men downstairs have told him that a man entered my apartment a few hours ago and has not left yet. He repeats his “policy” statement and expounds on proper behavior for a woman.

Um. OK. There is no doubt in my mind that this strict Muslim man expected me to apologize profusely and say it would never happen again.

But, um, yeah. That ain’t my style - especially when you wake me up and insult me. Over the next 20 minutes I proceed to tell him exactly what I thought about him calling me an “improper woman.”

It went something like this:
You have the nerve to call me in the middle of the night and accuse me of going against Egypt?! You have no idea who this man even is! Maybe he’s my brother (he’s not); maybe he’s family (he is - in the American definition that friends are like family). You just call me and accuse me of going against guest policies that you never informed me of. I have lived in filthy Mokattam for 5 months and now in the middle of the night you want to discuss polices! I want a written copy of these house policies.

Oh Miss Julie you are acting very defensive. If this person is your brother it is no problem.

SORRY. You don’t get off that easy, you woke me up man – I HATE being woken up - and accused me of immoral behavior – which I am not even participating in (or enjoying) at the moment. SO, if you think I’m acting defensive you have misunderstood me. - I’m pissed off!

I continued:
I have done nothing wrong. Nor am I ashamed of any of my behavior. And it’s none of your or anyone else’s damn business who is in my apartment at any hour – DAMN IT. Don’t you watch Desperate Housewives and Sex in the City?! If not you must be the only Egyptian to miss this educational TV. Cause let me tell you, everyone else here seems to think all of us foreigners will sleep with anyone regardless of what they say or do, or even their lack of basic hygiene.

Yeah. I’m sure a “proper woman” would never have spoken to anyone in that way. But alas, it is clear I am not such a woman.

It did not go well for CEO Junior that night. Nor the next morning when I called CEO Senior and told him everything. The final response, “No problem Miss Julie your friends are welcome to stay as long as you like. Please enjoy your holiday.”

There are no “morality police” in Egypt like there are in other Arab countries. (See these links about Saudi Arabian religious police http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/1874471.stm or http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/2231296/posts ) But clearly some people like to take it upon themselves to fill this role. I have had friends harassed at hotels when men and women share a room – regardless of the known, unknown or suspected sleeping arrangements, or martial status. Egyptians must always travel with their marriage certificate. I have heard of brides and grooms being turned away from their hotel room on their wedding night – still dressed in their wedding clothes – for not having the proper documentation that says they can share a room.

And yet, these “police” have no problem with women – Egyptian and foreigners – being glared at, taunted and harassed constantly on the street.

My reaction to CEO Junior may seem harsh to some. But a woman - or more specifically this woman - can only take so much of this hypocrisy. This is a culture that supports a man having 4 wives and you still want to monitor the comings and goings of guests in my apartment?! Well, get your notebooks ready. I'll give you something to talk about.
So hell yeah, I will relish in the joys of being a proud and “Improper Woman.” I am thankful that I can be and will continue to be such a woman for all those who cannot.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You were right, it is much better with the picture.

LOVE the crown, princess!

JCL

Anonymous said...

Good for you! You show him that us American women don't lay down for just any man lol!